Self-Control - The Fruit of the Spirit

Have you ever thought about self-control being one of the greatest virtues? With society, advertisements, and even some pseudo-psychology constantly telling us to give into our desires, to let it out, to go after what we want, I think self-control has become less and less important to so many people. The truth is that self-control is good for everyone, in fact, it is part of the foundation for the grand and abundant fruit of the Spirit that’ve been talking about. Many of our Spiritual practices like fasting, Sabbath, giving, etc. may first be about our relationship with God, but are also about strengthening our self-control for the purpose of following God better. Without self-control how can we ever live faithful and good lives, how can we experience joy when the world is pointing us towards grief, how can we show love when we only feel anger or resentment, how can we be generous when there doesn’t seem to be enough?

The first thing we have to realize is that we need a purpose for our self-control. For many people in the world, their purpose is self-improvement or self-help as it has become a 13 billion-dollar industry. Why not? We should want to improve ourselves. Many people have recognized that simple desire-seeking, self-gratification and the following of our emotions are not what’s best for us, not healthy, and not the things that make for a good life or relationships. One of the struggles is that if self-improvement is our main purpose when we feel a strong desire to do something, or even a discomfort with what we are stopping or doing, then it can feel like we are helping ourselves to give in. Think about it, even the phrase, help yourself is a common idiom for taking what you want, but helping your self to whatever you want and helping yourself are not really the same thing.

Self-improvement is not a bad starting place, but as the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous professes, we must also recognize that we can’t often help ourselves. We need help. As a fruit of the Spirit, self-control is not exactly what we would imagine, instead it is the Holy Spirit empowering, directing, and redeeming our self-control when we know we can’t do it on our own - As Paul says to Timothy we do it “with the help of the Spirit”. With the Holy Spirit, we must understand that we do have the capacity to control our desires, our feelings, and our actions, and when we don’t find the strength in the Spirit to control these things, we know that we can find the self-control to repent and redeem that wrong while changing ourselves so that we are better the next time.

The two realities we just looked at, that we need the Holy Spirit’s help and that self-improvement alone isn’t enough, point us to the fact that we need God to be the centre of any self-improvement. We know that the best form of self-improvement and self-control is to follow Jesus Christ as he is both a better man and empowers us to be like him, but in order to find true self-improvement and self-control the goal and purpose must be to follow Jesus before anything else. If following Jesus is the purpose behind our self-control, then our lives have a trajectory and shape that can keep us in line.

The next difficulty in self-control is that we need to want to practice it. We have to want our purpose and goal of following Jesus Christ more than all the other things. If we care more about self-gratification, or getting our way, or being comfortable, or that achievement, then our self-control will always lose out because we have something that we hold as a barrier against the Holy Spirit; we allow this thing to snuff out his flame in us. So, if we really want control over our lives, the question is, are we willing to use that control to follow Jesus? More than that, do we want to use our control to follow Jesus? Jesus says the same in John 15:4, “if you abide in me, I abide in you . . . and you shall bear much fruit, but without me, you will bear no fruit.”

You might be asking how is this self-control or freedom if we need the help of the Holy Spirit and if we are using it to follow Jesus Christ. Let’s first look at the other side, how is being controlled by our desires, reacting to every emotion, and following every little fear or whim how is that really freedom or self-control? Especially, when we consider that so many of our desires, emotions, and whims are changed, manipulated, and sometimes even controlled by outside sources like media, peer pressure, and many other cultural influences. This modern model of living where we give in seems more like slavery and a lack of control than anything else. Yet, the funny thing is that we try to sell being controlled by our feels as the opposite. Paul speaks to the same thing in his letter to the Romans when he speaks about how we give ourselves over and make ourselves slaves to the will of the flesh.

The truth is that following Jesus Christ and being empowered by the Holy Spirit is not absolute freedom or complete control either. At least as you might first think of it, in terms of the freedom to do anything and everything, because that kind of control and freedom doesn’t truly exist. I can’t jump over this church and I can’t do two opposite things. We cannot serve two masters. We cannot serve both our will and God’s. We cannot serve our desires and God’s. The difference is that our wills and desires are fickle and limiting masters that cannot give us fruit, but as servants of God, we are under his ultimate care, protection, and power and so can bare much fruit. Ultimately, our freedom and control under God as our master is far greater than under any other. In fact, as the Holy Spirit gives us more than we have and are capable of, what we will find is that our freedom and control are far more than we could have ever had without God. On top of that, as we practice this willful faithfulness and self-control, God will start to conform even our desires and emotions, so that again our freedom and control become even greater and more fulfilling. Notice in Psalm 119, the psalmist finds so much joy and life in God’s law and word. It is like nourishment to him and more. In obedience to God, we might actually find that all-encompassing freedom that Paul knows and expresses.

The last part of self-control is that we need to know where our self-control is leading to. We already talked about following Jesus Christ, but this was more like the shape, where I am now talking about self-control’s accomplishment. Knowing where our self-control is leading doesn’t just give our lives a shape, it also gives it a destination and a resting place. Paul in our passage today talks about how the athlete will control and tame their body for their goal which is to be the one winner of the race. Paul says his goal is to win more people to Christ, while not losing himself in the process. I know for Paul His ultimate goal is tied to this but bigger as it also includes a desire to become like Christ, to create unity, to build communities for Christ, and much more, but all of this is wrapped up in one singular goal to share in Christ - not just to follow, but to be a part of Jesus Christ. Our goal should live in a similar space, as we should want a share in Christ but then it will take a different shape depending on where we are and how we bring those around us with us.

This aspect of self-control leads me to something we have actually been seeing consistently throughout the fruit of the Spirit and that is that all the Fruit are intertwined, together they are all one singular fruit. In this case, we can realize that the Holy Spirit-led self-control creates in us faithfulness, love, goodness, chastity, grace, peace, joy, all of the fruit. Just as the Holy Spirit’s love ends up leading us to faithfulness, generosity, etc. When Paul lists the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians, it is not that each of these character traits is a different fruit. The word Paul uses for Fruit is singular, meaning that all of these traits come together in the singular work of the Holy Spirit.

That also means something that challenges me. If this great list of aspects given through the Holy Spirit is one singular fruit, it means that if we aren’t living into the self-control God wants for us, we aren’t truly living out His love, or His faithfulness, or His generosity or patience. When I give into something and not out of the will of God, I am not loving myself, my neighbor, or God as I should. I realize, As I make myself less through serving base things, as I turn away from others to think about my entertainment, as I belittle God by lifting up my desires before Him, I cannot be loving any of these relationships as I should. So to truly love I need to practice self-control. That is why Paul in that great love poem, starts with love is patient, love is kind - two of the other aspects of the Holy Spirit’s fruit. Or why when he is commending the faith passed down to Timothy, he talks about following a teaching, patient endurance, and keeping oneself Holy, pure or chaste. Again, three more aspects of the Holy Spirit’s fruit. So, this challenges me. If I really want the fullness of God’s Spirit. If I really want Godly love, to become truly faithful, to made pure and right before God, to have lasting peace and joy, I must also practice patience even in the hardest times, or self-control even when I want something, or generosity when I don’t feel like I have enough. That is when I might truly know these things through the Holy Spirit living in me. That is why Paul tells Timothy to rekindle the Holy Spirit through self-control and love.

So today we have focused on self-control, one of the key aspects of the Holy Spirit working in us. Hopefully, you have seen and believe that the only way we have self-control and freedom is by making our purpose following Jesus Christ and how all other ways lead to greater degrees of slavery and increasing limitations because Jesus is the only master who sets us free. We have to want to follow Jesus more than anything else, or else that self-control will consistently be overwhelmed by our desires, but if Jesus comes first our desires and emotions can be overwhelmed by the love of Christ. As we use our self-control to follow Jesus, Jesus becomes our goal and so with Him comes the great and abundant fruit of the Holy Spirit. Self-control and patient endurance might only be an aspect of the Fruit of the Spirit, but we know that as we practice them, we come closer to the fullness of knowing God with us and God in us in all aspects. How might you, in your daily life, practice patient self-control in a way that lifts up Jesus as the one we truly seek, rather than all of these other things? As you try, watch for how the other fruit and the Holy Spirit Himself takes greater root in you. AMEN