The Centrality of Relationships and the Centrality of Marriage

Genesis 2:15-25

Psalm 128

John 2:1-11

Intro - to sermon series on the 7 miracles

Have you ever noticed that relationships are central to the Christian faith? You might think about the two most important commandments, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and love your neighbor as yourself”. You might think of the very fact that God became incarnate, human, so that we might meet and know him. We might think about how Jesus died to reconcile us to God. You might think of Jesus’ grand purpose for us to gather more disciples. I could go on. The story of creation is full of God ordering relationships so that things might flourish - the land is separated from the water. Our world and society are based upon interdependent relationships. The earth water cycle, our grocery stores are great examples of interdependent relationships. Relationships are central to who we are and to our faith. In fact, our purpose and life are ultimately built for relationships.

Take our story from Genesis. Humanity was created and Adam was planted in the garden. For the first time in the whole biblical story, God notices something is wrong. Adam was surrounded by wonderful plants and animals, but he didn’t have a partner, a helper, or someone to share it all with. God sees that this is not good. This is really important we need people in our lives. As introverted, independent, or private as we think we are, it is not good to live isolated and separate lives. We need others. We need others to share what God has given us. We need others to join in the work. We need others for relationships, purpose, and belonging.

I remember after my parents got divorced I was traveling alone through Australia and Thailand. I started doing all these things I had always dreamed of. I went scuba diving in the great barrier reef, I hiked up mountains, I skydived, bungee jumped, camped on islands, discovered beautiful lakes, and so much more. The interesting thing is that all these amazing experiences became almost nothing to me, because I wasn’t sharing them with someone. Sure there was people beside me, but those were fleeting relationships and I longed for something deep and rich, where we could share and grow in this together. I think too often in life we can go about like this. We have wonderful things, we experience the wonderful world, and there are joys all around us, but because we don’t share them with one another in meaningful relationships, everything becomes a lot less for it. It's not just that we need to stop and smell the roses, but its also that we should want others to stop with us and smell the roses.

Next in our story from Genesis, God lines up all of the animals before Adam and Adam begins to name them. As wild, wonderful, and diverse as the animal kingdom was, none of them were right for Adam. So, we shouldn’t call a dog man’s best friend, even as much as I love animals and Layla (my dog). If somehow we are building closer and more meaningful relationships with our animals, that means that something is fundamentally going wrong with the way we are building and sustaining human relationships. There is a lot to learn from our too often easier relationships with animals, like how we want to have control in relationships, how we are more willing to serve when it is easy or obvious, how we need closeness and intimacy (outside of sexuality) and more. And we should reflect on what this tells us about our less fulfilled human relationships, but I will leave that to you.

This brings us to the infamous creation of Eve. God puts Adam to sleep and he separates him in half. We often read, as we did today, that God took out Adam’s rib. Smarter people than me have studied this and said that the better translation is that God took out Adam’s side. It was like God separated Adam in half. Now, it is like Adam is never whole until he is once again joined to Eve. So we shouldn’t be surprised when this section ends with “a man shall leave his father and mother and cling to his wife and they shall become one flesh”.

Even before we delve into marriage, I think this tells us something fundamental. We are meant for one another - not always in a sexual way, but in a close bond of love. We are not whole until we find those close and deep loving relationships of mutual help and purpose. How often do we struggle through life, because we are doing it alone? How often do we long for something more, because we aren’t actually close with those around us? How often do we lack purpose because we aren’t caring for those around us or they aren’t caring for us?

This brings us to marriage. Marriage in today’s world can be a bit of a controversial subject. There are plenty of people who are against it. There are plenty of people who think very little of it. And there are arguments over its definition to the greatest extremes. God cares very deeply for marriage; as we can see it is the solution to the very first wrong in the bible. Throughout the Old and New Testament marriage becomes one of the greatest analogies or images for our singular and committed relationship with God. In one way or another, we are all meant to be married to God, its not just for nuns or monks. God is meant to be our primary and first love and relationship. Some people have wondered why there is love poetry in the bible. Song of Songs seems so different from everything else. It is because the love and even longing we experience for one another tells us a lot about our longing for God and how our love should be directed.

God wants to protect the singular committed and faithful relationships that are marriage, because as Jesus in the Gospel of John says, “If we can’t love the people that are right beside us, how do we think we are loving God?” Or as Jesus says “What God has joined together let no man separate”. This doesn’t mean that there isn’t brokenness. God knows our broken and hard hearts, so Moses made room for divorce, but that is only meant for the most extreme cases. The love and commitment of marriage are meant to work through our challenges, so that we can grow closer to one another, to allow that love to transform all other feelings so that even hate might be transformed. This isn’t just a message for married couples either. It is God’s desire for every relationship to become some vision of his faith and love. This isn’t easy and not always possible, but don’t you understand that God wants to transform every relationship to be something for His kingdom of peace and love? - but for God to transform our relationships it will take our willingness on both sides to have humble and soft hearts for God to mold and direct. A relationship always takes a willingness to make space for the other and it grows through building trust and sharing. We need the grace and mercy of God to live in us more than the desire to get our way or be right.

Finally, that brings us to Jesus’ first public miracle. Out of all Jesus’ miracles it is probably the strangest. The other miracles are healings, feedings, calming storms, and raising the dead. These other miracles feel like necessities. This miracle is making water into wine at a wedding in Cana. You can find tons of jokes about Jesus being a partier or something of that kind. When putting these miracles side by side, we should realize something. God didn’t get something wrong, no he is trying to tell us something about marriage, unity, and close relationships. A covenantal relationship of love is just as fundamental and necessary as health, or our basic needs, our safety, or even our lives. Marriage is something to Jesus that he needs to uphold and so should we. God shows us that marriage is a central part of our community, our creation, and our humanity.

This isn’t to discount celibacy or singleness, because Paul reminds us that in that chaste and committed life of faith, we are committing ourselves, ultimately, to God. We should be doing that even if we might be looking, even if we are married, but purposefully committing to God in singleness is something special unto itself that I can’t talk about now.

Jesus decides to publicly act at this wedding, because of his mother. It is a strange interaction again, so you may not realize everything that it means. Jesus resists his mother saying it isn’t his time. Nonetheless, He gets servants to gather water for ceremonial washing and he then turns it to wine. What does this mean? It means that sometimes God is willing to change his plans. It means that the faithful love of a mother and marriage has the power to influence God’s heart. It means that blessing a marriage is important enough to God that he would do something differently. The basins of ceremonial washing becoming wine means that God can and will use marriage for the purifying and making clean of both the couple and those who witness it. This is important and we might miss it. The singular faithful relationship of marriage isn’t just for the betterment of the two people, it's not just for the children, it is actually meant for the good of societies and communities. Through our singular faithful love we can show something about God and we can act in ways that change the world for him.

I just want to close by asking, “Why does God care so much about marriage?” Well, because it is wrapped up in his identity and his hope for us. Remember God is a Trinity. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God is a unity of three persons in the ultimate and fulfilling relationships of love. Everything pours out from this mutual self-sacrificial love. God wants this for us too. He knows what this committed mutual self-sacrificial love can mean and do, so he longs for us to find it, build it and fill the world with it. He knows we need it. Ultimately, he wants to draw us into his Trinity, but in this world we are drawn into God more and more by how we draw others into our lives and into God’s life. There is nothing more important to God and we should know that Godly faithful loving relationships are just as important to us. AMEN