“Dining etiquette”
By Rev. Michael Stonhouse
Meditation – Monday, November 11, 2024
Luke 14: 12-24 (Forward, p. 13) CEV p. 1081
Interestingly enough, there are books and courses on proper dinner manners and dining etiquette, which should not be at all surprising, because mastering just the glassware, plates and cutlery at a formal meal can be quite daunting.
Jesus, incredibly, launches forth on His own instructions, but these are totally unlike anything we might have, or, for that matter, what His hearers would have known. In fact, Jesus’ instructions are quite counter cultural to the habits of His times.
For the elite of His society, the well-to-do, the mealtime was incredibly important. In fact, it was seen as a foretaste of the millennial kingdom, the kingdom of God, and so, you did not invite ‘just anyone’, but only those whom you felt to be worthy, or those whom you hoped to share that otherworldly meal. Who you invited depending upon your own status. If already at the top, you invited only your upper-class friends. If aspiring to attain something higher, then you invited only those who’d help you on the way up. You certainly did not do as Jesus suggested, which was to invite the poor, the crippled, the lame or the blind, as none of them would be of any help in your getting ahead.
So, this dynamic was heartily at work within the society of Jesus’ day. But there was more to it than just that. Jesus’ preceding words have to do with who you invited; the second part of today’s passage has to do with what invitations you accept. After all, you wouldn’t want to be seen with ‘just anyone’!
How the high-class dinners in Jesus’ day worked was this. Given that reliable time pieces had not yet been invited, giving out a starting time for a function was impossible. Only a date would be mentioned, but that particular day a servant would go around when the banquet was ready and tell the invited guests to come. The crunch is that the invited guests would scan the guest list and see who else was invited, and then decide, on that basis, whether to attend or not. It was most rude and most disrespectful, but that’s how it was. Everyone’s status in society depended upon who you were seen with.
But, of course, no one on the guest list wanted to admit that they weren’t coming because ‘old so-and-so was going to be there.’ So, they came up with lame excuses, the lamest excuses possible:
-I have bought a piece of land sight unseen.
-I have bought five yoke of oxen but haven’t tried them out yet.
-I have just got married.
Surely, if you have been so unwise as to buy land or draft animals
sight unseen, they will still be there after the meal. No reason to beg
off a perfectly good meal!
And, as for your new bride: well, bring her along.
Imagine missing out on something so good for such trivial reasons!
The host, quite properly, was insulted and angry over this rejection, this snub. He decides that the folks he invited weren’t worthy of His invitation and goes ahead and invites countless others, others whom almost everyone else would have totally overlooked.
All of this, to my mind, has a rather vivid and pointed message to us today. Many people whom we might have thought of as being worthy or meritorious simply won’t get in, won’t be part of God’s millennial kingdom, simply because they said ‘no’ to it. But countless others, others whom we would have never even thought of, will be invited in their stead, and find themselves a place there. Here I think of the drummer in a rock band that I once invited to church. He exclaimed, “God wouldn’t know what to do with me there. He’d drop dead if I showed up!” I replied, “Just try him.” But here as a man who, in his own estimation, would have no place there. My suspicion is that there are countless people out there who are just like that. So, maybe it is our job to invite them, and welcome them, when they do show up. Thanks be to God.
Forward notes: “And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you, for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous” (verse 14).
“When I was younger, I would come home from school, and after I had finished all of my homework, my mom would let me watch Oprah with her. Mom usually prepped dinner—trimming green beans or peeling potatoes—while we watched. We loved the guests, of course, but I remember the thrill of watching Oprah give something to everyone in the audience. ‘You get a car, and you get a car, and you get a car!’
“I thought, ‘I’m gonna do that when I grow up! Surprise someone with a gift for no particular reason.’ Well, I’ve grown up, and I have to say that giving with no hope of reciprocation is tough. I have bills to pay and responsibilities—and, to be honest—a growing list of wants. Giving to someone else requires putting their needs first, which is hard to do, especially to someone outside of family or friends.
“But Jesus pushes us to give indiscriminately, to fling open the doors to our homes and invite the neighbourhood.”
Moving Forward: “How can you give today? Pay the bill for the car behind you in a drive-through or leave flowers for a neighbour.”