“I cannot imagine all that went through their heads”

By Rev. Michael Stonhouse

Meditation – Monday, March 20, 2023

Luke 2:41-52 (Forward, p. 50) CEV p. 1058

It was the stuff of every parents’ nightmare, looking for one’s child and not being able to find that child anywhere. After the initial realization and its accompanying surprise and shock, then comes the despair and the onset the child has come to some sort of harm.’ All sorts of these ‘crazy’ thoughts and fears and imaginings run through your mind. I know exactly what this is like having experienced this with one of my boys at very crowded Vancouver Aquarium. It was in a very busy and somewhat cluttered—layout wise--gift shop and the boy was simply a few aisles away, totally unaware and nonchalant about the fright he’d given his parents. The problem, of course, was that we couldn’t see him from where we stood, and his aisle was some distance away. So, I can well imagine what Joseph and Mary were feeling—only with them, it would have been so much worse.

For them, there were a number of complicating factors. They were away from home and away from familiar territory and landmarks. They were ‘on the road’, a day’s journal from their last stop, which was the large and packed city of Jerusalem. Furthermore, they were probably surrounded, at least in part, with some relative strangers. So, there would have been no end of fearful imaginings about what ‘might’ have happened to the lad.

Now, before we accuse the parents of some sort of carelessness or neglect, we need to understand something of the cultural expectations of that time and place. In a long journey of this sort, the men travelled together and led the way, followed at some distance by another cluster, this one composed entirely of the women and their dependent children. The two groups did not interact at all until they reached their evening’s destination and set up camp.

Now, at the age of twelve, Jesus was on the cusp of being considered an adult, but basically could have, depending on his maturity, travelled with either group. Mary, not seeing her son in her group, could have thought, with some well justified pride, ‘well, my son, he is a man now and has decided to travel with them!’ And Joseph, also not spotting Jesus in his midst, could have thought, “well, the boy is rather attached to his mother,

so what the heck. But next year, he’ll have to buck up and be with us men.’ So, neither would have been aware of His absence until the evening.

But then, Mary and Joseph were frantic, their thoughts full of the most weird and absurd imaginings. Now they were faced with something that was truly frightening—and potentially very dangerous. They would have to leave the relative security and safety of this extended group of family and friends and travel all by themselves back to Jerusalem. How very frightening that would have been.

And then, once in Jerusalem, searching for three long days—whether this included the return trip or not, we do not know—before finding the boy. I can well imagine all the places they looked, their lodgings, the bazaar, all the kinds of places a twelve-year boy might frequent—and then some. But the Temple was undoubtedly the very last place they would have thought to look. I mean, just place yourself in their shoes: would you expect to find your twelve-year old son or daughter hanging out at a church or cathedral or seminary, just relishing a chance to interact with the priest or bishop or dean or seminary professor? Not very likely, not even with a very precocious, spiritually aware, spiritually advanced child!

No wonder Mary and Joseph were astounded, amazed. But I am quite sure that their initial reactions, their initial emotions, also contained a mixture of relief over having finally found Him and now a little bit of anger and dismay over what He’d put them through. No wonder Mary indulged in a bit of recrimination and blaming. That surely was to be expected!

At this point, Jesus’ answer would have been all the more perplexing—and exasperating, infuriating. “Why, in the world did you worry about me? Did you not know that I must be about my Father’s business?” I can just imagine this response from a twelve-year old, delivered innocently, in a matter of fact manner, with no pretence or subtly. How infuriating, and puzzling that must have been! “Your father’s business? Well, here, in the person of Joseph, is your father: so, what are you talking about?” Of course, they did not yet understand that Jesus was talking about His heavenly Father.

What this says to me is that even at the tender age of twelve, Jesus was focused on knowing and doing God’s will. Already He had dispensed with the usual activities of twelve-year olds in His desire to serve God—and us—which was to be His life’s work. Already He was ready, and preparing, which, to me, says a great deal about His love for us.

Forward notes: “He said to them, ‘Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?”” (verse 49)

“This twelve-year-old Jesus has parents—and they are upset. Rightly so. Jesus abandons them and the family caravan without permission, remaining at the temple to converse with rabbis.

“Joseph is Jesus’s father—some say, ‘adopted father,’ while others say ‘earthly father.’ Regardless, it is clear that Joseph is Jesus’s father in such a way that strengthens rather than denigrates Jesus’s relationship to God as Father.

“I know this because my second child is also adopted from birth. Never do I look at my daughter and think anything other than, ‘There she is, my daughter, my child.’ God chooses Joseph in this way of mystery, and he serves as father to Jesus, including in the arena of discipline.”

Moving Forward: “Reflect on the relationship between Joseph and Jesus. What do you imagine were the challenges of parenting Jesus?”