“Comforting, or downright scary?”

By Rev. Michael Stonhouse

Meditation – Saturday, October 29, 2022

Psalm 139:1-17 (Forward, p. 92) CEV p. 640

Here the psalmist, David, waxes eloquent about how the Lord is always near to us, and furthermore, knows all about us, even to where are and what we are doing. And yes, God is even privy to our innermost inclinations (our hearts), our thoughts, and our words before they even come out of our mouths. We are told that there is no escaping from God, that no matter where we are, He is still there. Furthermore, we are told that He knows our future activities even when they have not yet come to pass and knew us even before we were born.

I can think of least two ways that we might ‘greet’ this incredibly close and detailed knowledge. On the one hand, we can look at it with a certain sense of foreboding, even guilt, like a child ‘caught with his or her hand in the cookie jar’. We can find it scary and be somewhat intimidated by this knowledge.

Or, we can see it as comforting and reassuring, knowing that we are never really ‘on our own’, never actually without someone to help, guide and encourage us. And certainly, knowing that this particular ‘someone’ is none other than our Lord, must be especially welcome, as far too often we feel quite helpless and quite adrift. And furthermore, knowing that God, our Lord, knows all the details of our lives, knows everything about them, warts and all. Knows us for the broken, sinful, inadequate beings that we are, and still loves us. Knows every inadequacy, failing and faux pas that we have or will ever commit, and loves us in spite of all these.

And so, this can come as a great relief, and comfort, for all of us need that unconditional, non-judgmental, accepting kind of love, that love that we ultimately know and experience only in our Saviour Jesus Christ. And so, knowing this, we can live with a certain amount of freedom, with ourselves, with others, and ultimately, with God. Amen.

Forward notes: “Search me out, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my restless thoughts” (verse 22).

“It is humbling to know that one’s heart and mind can be searched, and our real intent can be known. Even in the age of social media, with everyone knowing everything, we like to imagine we can still have our own secrets. But this psalm tells us that even our innermost thoughts and feelings are known to God. What do we do with that? Clean them up? Change them before we act on them? Pray about why we’re having such thoughts? Or just let them ride?

“I’ve been very conscious in praying the Daily Office to focus and shut down the wandering thoughts, good or bad. But I have so far not had the discipline to shut down wicked thoughts, even while I am generally able to prevent them from being actualized through my mouth. I have the feeling that stopping myself from verbalizing everything that runs through my head and heart is only possible with God’s assistance. But I’m trying to flush those thoughts, so God doesn’t have to help me so much.”

Moving Forward: “What is in your mind and heart that you’d like to shield from God? How can you ask God to cleanse you of those feelings?”