“A longing like no else”
By Rev. Michael Stonhouse
Meditation – Saturday, April 20, 2024
Psalm 42 (Forward, p. 82) CEV p. 580
I am confused, but then, it would seem to me that our psalmist is confused as well. It seems that he vacillates broadly between two poles, two extremes of thought and emotion. On the one hand, he is convinced of the present and help of God:
“Every day, you are kind, and at night you give me a song as my prayer to you, the living Lord God” (verse 8).
And, then on the other hand, he is convinced that God has deserted him, forgotten him, and worse still, has arrayed himself against him:
“I am deeply discouraged as I think about you from where the Jordan begins at Mount Hermon and from Mount Mizar. Your vicious waves have swept over me like an angry ocean or a roaring waterfall” (verse 6b-7).
But doesn’t this sound a lot like us, as we vacillate between faith and doubt, conviction and discouragement? Far too often we, you and I, are like this psalmist.
No wonder he has a plaintive response, which is heard here in verses 5-6a and 11, again in Psalm 43:5):
“Why am I so discouraged? Why am I restless? I trust you! And I will praise you again because you help me, and you are my God.”
All this makes his initial appeal as found in verses 1-3 all the more moving and vivid, all the more poignant and heart-rending, for here we discover that it is not just his own hurt-feelings and distress, but also the jibes and taunts of bystanders:
“As a deer gets thirsty for streams of water, I truly am thirsty for you, my God. In my heart, I am thirsty for you, the living God. When will I see your face? Day and night my tears are my only food, as everyone keeps asking, ‘where is your God?”
And again in verse 10, “Even my bones are in pain, while all day long my enemies sneer and ask, ‘Where is your God?”
So, he is not like a camel, an animal is basically self-sufficient when it comes to desert climes: the psalmist knows his need for God? But here in the psalmist’s plaintive cry, there is something very important, something that we need to take seriously. He wants more than just comfort and help, more than the simple presence of God: he wants God Himself. Far too often we see God, and our prayers to God, as ‘ends in themselves’, as stepping stones to something else. Our psalmist sets us straight: God should be our ‘end’, our desire, our hope. It is God that we should want, should desire, more than anything, or anyone, else.
Forward notes: “Why are you so full of heaviness, O my soul? And why are you so disquieted within me? Put your trust in God” (verses 6-7a).
“On May 24, 2022, nineteen children and two adults were murdered at an elementary school in my hometown of Uvalde, Texas. I went to school there and walked every day to and from the elementary school. Along with the spirit of those murdered and all who knew and loved them, I grieve. I grieve with my country for all those killed and injured by gun violence and with those seeking to find solutions for how to eliminate this violence.
“At a recent retreat on the psalms of lament, participants divided into small groups with psalms assigned for discussion. The group members who had Psalm 42 decided to act it out in silence, like a play. I well remember them with their souls so heavy they could not even move across the room. Finally, they reached out their hands to the rest of us, imploring us to continue praying and trusting in God.”
Moving Forward: “How do you respond when your soul is so disquieted within you that it is difficult for you to move?”