“How to truly belong”
By Rev. Michael Stonhouse
Meditation – Wednesday, May 29, 2024
Matthew 12: 43-50 (Forward, p. 31) CEV p. 998
It is rather sad—and unfortunate—that many of us, in the Western world at least, are not aware of the cultural context of much of the Scriptures. This means that we merely slough off certain stories as inconsequential and fail to see just how radical and life-changing they are.
Today’s account of Jesus and His family is a prime example of this. In the ancient Middle Eastern world, family was everything. It was family that defined who you were, and it was family that gave you purpose, identity, and a sense of being and belonging. You grew up in that extended family, married within it and carried on its trade and traditions. You never really left it, regardless of age. Family was your mainstay and your rock of defence. Family could be counted upon to help you and defend you, no matter what else. And so, to leave your family was seen as unthinkable—and, for that matter, dangerous. Who, then, would be there for you?
So, what Jesus has to say about family is quite important. However, to understand what He says, it is important to look back at what immediately preceded what He has to say here. People had brought a man to Jesus who was blind and dumb due to a demon, and Jesus healed him. The authorities, Pharisees to be exact, then claimed that Jesus had been able to do this because He was in league with the devil. In other words, they were confusing the work of God, God the Holy Spirit, with the work of the enemy, which is unforgiveable. But, in some ways, this was only the start of their waywardness. As we see later, they were adamant in their refusal to believe.
Now, this is where it gets ‘interesting’. Mark’s version of this account directly links this slander by the Pharisees with the arrival of Jesus’ family. They had come to ‘rescue’ Him, to bring Jesus home, out of the limelight and out of where He would attract attention and opposition from the likes of those Pharisees. That was what families did back then: close ranks and bring the individual back into their fold. However, in some ways this was ‘buying into’ what the Pharisees said and believed; or, at very least, accommodating their ideas and thwarting Jesus’ ministry.
So, when Jesus suggested that He now had a new family, He was both rejecting that smothering, confining family-ness, creating a new family, and defining in a new way what family was to be about. Family in the kingdom was no longer a thing of birth and heredity, something you ‘couldn’t help’, but rather something of choice. But even more importantly, it was a group that showed themselves willing to listen, believe and obey what God was saying—so much in contrast with what the Pharisees were doing, or even what His own immediate family was about.
Gladly, we can all be part of the new family, that newly defined family that knows, loves, and follows Jesus Christ. And hopefully, we can live in harmony and mutual love and respect in that new family, the one we have now chosen. Thanks be to God.
Forward notes: “For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother” (verse 50).
“I grew up in the American South, where the ideal Christian family looked a particular way, and deviation from that norm meant that something had gone awry. I took this for granted until I started looking at my own family where I had relatives who never married, relatives who were unable to have biological children, and relatives who came into our lives through marriage but stayed long after those marriages ended.
“Jesus’s idea of family runs counter to the normative expression of family that I grew up with, privileging those who do the will of God over shared genealogy. These words from Jesus can feel harsh and dismissive of his family members who are standing right outside, but at the same time, we are as close or closer to Jesus as his own family members when we seek to do the will of God in our lives. In our baptisms, we become fully a part of his family, the church.”
Moving Forward: “Who is your family? What does family look like to you?”