“When we feel betrayed”

By Rev. Michael Stonhouse

Meditation – Saturday, July 23, 2022

Psalm 55 (Forward, p. 86) CEV p. 587

Betrayal: surely, it is an emotion that most of us have felt at one time or another. It is probably part of the human condition, even since the Fall, when Adam and Eve went back on their relationship with God, betrayed Him, you might say.

As I have suggested, it is probably something common to most of us: perhaps a close friend—someone we thought was close and trusted—let some secret ‘out of the bag’. Or perhaps, we thought the person would be ‘there for us’ when the going got tough but wasn’t. Or a co-worker, a colleague, decided not to side with us but actually turned against us. Or worse, someone near and dear to us left the relationship sabotaged and deserted us for someone else.

In today’s psalm, David speaks of this experience, and does so in rather graphic and specific terms:

“My enemies are not the ones who sneer and make fun. I could put up with that or even hide from them. But it was my closest friend, the one I trusted most. We enjoyed being together, and we went with others to your house, our God” (verses 12-14);

“My friend turned against me and broke his promise. His words were smoother than butter, and softer than olive oil. But hatred filled his heart, and he was ready to attack with a sword” (verses 20-21);

We don’t know for sure which person or occasion he is referring to. It could have been King Saul, for, after all, he had, at one time, been his righthand man. It could have been the citizens of Kellah who decided to turn him over to his enemies, in spite of the fact that he had just rescued them (1 Kings 23). Or, it could have been his first wife, Michal, or his son, Absalom. There are many candidates, but no matter, it happened to David, as it has happened to many of us.

And, what does David do in the midst of this experience? He turns to God and asks for God’s help and protection. He asks God to mete out justice and punish the offender. And, interestingly, He asks God to bring Him to a place of refuge, a place of peace, peace, I would guess, in the midst of these conflicting and sometimes ‘dangerous’ and violent emotions:

“I wish I had wings like a dove, so I could fly far away and be at peace. I would go and live in some distant desert. I would quickly find shelter from howling winds and raging storms” (verses 6-8);

And, indeed, the emotions that engulf a person as such times can seem very much like ‘howling winds and raging storms’. Peace and distance, safety and security, seem too good to be true, and yet they are what we most desire—and need.

It is noteworthy in all this that not only did King David endure such things but so too did our Lord and Saviour. It means that He understands and sympathizes in ways that no one who has not experienced it personally could ever do. And, it means that He is able to succor and help us in ways that are tailor made to our own situation and need. Praised be God for this. Amen.

Forward notes: “His speech is softer than butter, but war is in his heart. His words are smoother than oil, but they are drawn swords” (verses 22-23).

“A professor once told me that you can’t understand a passage through a tone of voice. You can read aloud with whatever inflection you like, but that’s never what’s on the page. When we’re reading scripture, what we have are the words alone.

“How grateful I am for the words of scriptures like these, then! Our difficult psalms, the songs of anger and lament, are a gift and a reminder. They show us that if we have ever been betrayed by a friend or wounded by someone’s sarcasm, we are not alone. This is an experience universal enough to be held up throughout scripture. We have been given the exact words of indictment and hurt to pray with; they’ve been put right into our mouths to cry along with. Christ was betrayed by his friends—even God has opted to stand within that experience with us.

“But the reminder? Our own words have the power to twist and to wound. We have the capacity to betray just as easily as we have been betrayed.”

Moving Forward: “Seek forgiveness for times when you’ve used words like a sword.”